When I was a new Christian, I wondered why Jesus had to retreat by Himself. I thought to myself "Jesus, You only have 3 years of ministry! You are wasting precious time that You could be spending with the people." As I've grown up and learned about people and ministry and self-sacrifice (which does Not happen as often as it should) I understood why He had to retreat and get "filled up" by God. Sometimes the world can drain you and you feel like you just can't give anymore. If God and I are not good during those times, uh, life sucks and I don't know why it has to continue... then enjoying sin becomes so much easier. If He and I are talking and we're close during those times, I feel His overwhelming peace during those times and I wonder why I don't do that ALL the time and how since it's so great to be that great with God why I get so distracted by the things of the world. If Jesus said "LOVE as I have LOVED you, by this LOVE the world will know you are My disciples," then we must have some hardcore love that involves giving without expecting, loving while being hated, speaking the truth during opposition, carrying those who cannot walk, sitting with the poor, making peace when it's easy to start a war, directing the lost to their Creator, having faith when the world doubts, sacrificing yourself even when no one appreciates it, and praying for those who want to hurt you.

if we see a brother fall we are instructed to speak the truth in love. how do we accomplish this without seeming to "holier than thou" lest people walk around not being themselves around you because they dont want you to judge them? how do we tell someone they are doing wrong when we have other areas in our life that we struggle with? how do we show the world who He is if we Don't speak up? why are we so shy?

Jesus said to His disciples that 'these things you will do and even greater things will you do in My name.' If we have His name and if we have His spirit in us then why can't we do the "greater" things? How do we tap into this power that we have been given as children of God? When the disciples could not cast out a demon possessed man, Jesus said that this power only comes through fasting and prayer. So what do we need more of? Prayer. And for the longest time I listened to a lie from Satan that God already has what He's going to do planned out so prayer is just a waste of time because God does not change His mind.  If God could be convinced would He be Omniscient and does that mean prayer has "power" over God? .....No where in Scripture will you find this concept. In fact, Scripture teaches quite the opposite which makes that theory straight from the enemy's mouth. Yes, prayer changes things and if we do not pray then we are not in tune with God's will. It's like any other relationship... if I spend every waking moment with my best friend then it's not like I study or strive to know him and his thoughts, it just happens at one point I just know him well enough to know his thoughts and what he would say or what he'd like. That's why in 1 Thess 5 Paul says that we must "pray without ceasing" not because we must 'pray for world hunger and political peace' but spending so much time with Him allows you to just know Him and what He would say or how He would react.  I'm learning these beautiful truth because I by no means have any of this down to an art form....... learning to listen.............................

Going to Texas in the morning! I'm excited but not looking forward to a freakin 5 hour drive...

I love Mitch Hedberg!!!!!!!!

I have a prayer journal that I write my thoughts and cries and thanks to God that I have struggled to keep up with... I encourage you to do that if you dont cuz I seriously look at God's footprints in my life cuz of it... through my times far away from Him or the times I'm so in love with Him, His strength is made perfect through my weakness...

Got an new job as a server at a nice restaurant.... pretty excited about it

I hate myspace because it takes forever to do anything....

reading 1 Peter right now which talks about how we must not be surprised when we suffer for Christ's name... I read about the trials and sufferings and deaths of the disciples. The things that they endured were hard to even read much less imagine what they had to go through.... going on the foreign mission field where saying the name "Jesus Christ" is highly forbidden takes on a whole new meaning for me..... still going though.... looking at the middle east now...

fell in love with Three Days Grace... I seriously cannot stop listening to the same songs over and over which is like a part of me now.... the concert is coming here and I won't be able to go.... how bad does that suck????????

read ted dekker's blink and have a passion for the middle east... thinking to go there for a while...

huge test in the morning

going to walmart now...

someone asked me today if "pheromones" really existed if it did how does it react a certain way with some people and another way with others?

I told them what I knew about it and am now gonna do some more research... Claire, you're the med student what do you think?

I have a 10 page autobiography to do and writing about yourself is the easiest and the hardest thing to do... kinda draining really... just make me take an 8 hour test....

"we are to love people and use material things, but we use people and love material things..."  thanks for that one, Rachel

my friend Joey thinks that the disciple Peter was more in love with the "cause" than Christ... That's why he rebuked, REBUKED, Jesus when Jesus told them the things that were going to happen to him... agree or disagree?

random thought: why do we always call red hair "red" when for the most part it is orange? my friend dressed up as a punk today and put red in his hair and that's when I thought red hair is really orange... who the crap came up with that calling it "red"?

halloween: when we actually celebrate the things we naturally shy away from (for the most part of course) like gore, death, evil... it's when we have an excuse to be something else for a day... an excuse to wear that mask...

I have a paper to do and several test to study for and now am wondering why I'm doing this.... world's best procrastinator? uh.... yeah......

going to find me some coffee...................................................